There is something almost sacred about the way men are raised to see money. Not to generalise it, but I am sure many of us saw it growing up. Fathers who carried the weight of the household in silence, who measured love in responsibility, who never complained even when things were hard. They made provision look effortless. And in that quiet performance of strength, a message was always passed down:
“A man must always have it together; a man must never ask for help.”
But what if that thinking is exactly what’s holding men back?
Adulthood has a way of exposing the truth beneath that myth. We now know what the men before us never said out loud – that providing is not easy, and even the strongest shoulders get tired. We have seen men stretch salaries to cover needs they do not speak of. We have seen them take care of siblings, parents, and children all at once, while still trying to breathe under the pressure of appearing okay.
For many men today, whether husbands, sons, uncles, or colleagues, money is not just currency. It is identity, control, even self-worth. Which is why so many struggle in silence when that control slips. Is it when the car suddenly needs repairs, when rent renewals come faster than expected or even when school fees collide with everything else? Pride says figure it out. But wisdom says plan better.
Perhaps it is time to start unlearning some of the lessons passed down through generations:
Myth 1: “Borrowing is ungodly”
Many grew up hearing that debt is shameful, that a good man must owe no one. Yet, in truth, credit can be a bridge, not a burden. When used wisely, it creates room to breathe, to plan, to invest, and to manage emergencies without breaking stride.
Myth 2: “Real men don’t ask for help”
There is strength in independence, but there is greater wisdom in knowing when to lean on others. Asking for help does not take away from one’s pride. Whether it is a friend, a mentor, or a financial advisor, reaching out often opens doors that silence keeps shut.
Myth 3: “You must always have it figured out”
It is okay not to have it all together. Life keeps changing, and no one truly has it figured out. The power of community is unquantifiable. Every man needs a safe space, his own tribe, people with whom he can be himself without judgement or spite. The strength is in learning, asking questions, and having open conversations about money – that is how we all grow.
Myth 4: “There is shame in not having”
Every financial story has seasons of lack and seasons of plenty. What matters is not what’s missing, but the resolve to keep going. Shame may silence, but it should never define. Speaking up about money could just be the first step toward rebuilding.
Myth 5: “Investing is only for the wealthy”
Perhaps the biggest myth of all. The belief that only the rich should think about the future has held too many people back. Investing actually begins with a decision to prepare, to put something aside for the people you love and for the dreams you still hold. It can never be overemphasized: Invest, Invest Now!
Financial strength was never meant to be a solo pursuit. It grows in conversation, in planning, and in shared understanding, because none of us were ever meant to build wealth alone. None of us were meant to do life alone.
Keep building.
