AF: Let’s start from the top, what do you remember most vividly about the first time you became a father? A smell, a sound, a feeling?
DA: For me, it was a sound. I’ll never forget the sound of my daughter’s voice even though they weren’t words at the time.
AF: You got 2 daughters before your son arrived—did that change how you saw fatherhood or just the volume of pink in your house?
DA: Girls are so loving and caring and all the time spent with them is a memory to die for, but you see this boy? Kai ! he has turned up my level of alertness and brought out the Peter Edochie in me.
AF: Girl dads have a certain reputation—soft, protective, emotionally tuned-in. Do you identify with that? And how do your daughters challenge or reinforce that image?
DA: They are simply adorable and my BFFs. We share secrets and they keep me up-to-date with what’s trending in the Gen Z world, just so I don’t shame them in public.
AF: Be honest: were you in the delivery room for any of the births? If yes, how is it for a doctor? Also, what was running through your mind while playing co-pilot to the miracle (and madness) of childbirth?
DA: Hmmm, yes I was in the delivery room for my second daughter and watched virtually during the birth of my son.
As a doctor husband to my wife in labour, I knew I couldn’t do much professionally, so I left that hat at the reception.
As a husband, I could only encourage her to push, while I held her hand (which later ended up in a bucket of ice) in the labour room, even though the doctor in me was fighting hard to jump out to commandeer the delivery.
AF: You juggle an intense role at Avon HMO. What’s your secret for being present at work and at home? Or are there days you feel like you’re winging both?
DA: I have always loved what I do, my passion is very deep for medicine and humanity. I am one of the very few who never experienced the long break that came with the pandemic (it was like every other day at work, with more intense patients).
My wife says and I quote:” Worker of life”.
I believe a lot in family time, I go all out with them whenever I get the opportunity; to catch movies, play indoor games and try new foods.
My daughters say, “Daddy can never finish a series movie in a year, download and keep it in a hard drive for him and thank God for Netflix and YouTube”.
AF: What’s a go-to bonding activity you share with your girls? And do you have different rituals or inside jokes with each of them?
DA: Ha! Those girls, hmm we share loads of gist and secrets o! even against their mum.
We gossip and enjoy board games, they teach me new music and the accompanying dance moves. We are also passionate about trying out new restaurants and meals. All bills on me they claim it’s I.O.U and they will pay back when they start working (#yinmu).
The first is not just a splitting image of me but shares my birth date. She claims it’s her date and I am the one borrowing it. Meanwhile, it has been my own birthday for decades o!
AF: What’s one “dad rule” you strictly enforce in your house, and what’s one your kids have successfully negotiated out of you over the years?
DA: Two rules actually. Rule number one is “No TV during the school week” and rule number two is, “All meals must be eaten at the dining table while obeying all table manners.”
They negotiate everything.
AF: Do your kids know what you do for a living? Or do they just think you wear a suit and talk to grownups all day?
DA: LOL! They know what I do and none of them are ready to toe the line, at least for now.
AF: Has your training as a medical doctor influenced the kind of father you are, or are your kids your toughest “patients” yet?
DA: Hmmm. A difficult question. Both questions I will say yes.
As a doctor-father, I chose to change the narrative, by not putting 100% of work above time spent with my kids. I’ve been able to do this so far through share determination and strategic planning. I do the most to fully maximise my working hours so I can be actively involved in their journey as they navigate life. That’s why we’re besties and partners in crime.
That said, my kids are my toughest patients, because when they are ill, I am also at a loss on how to manage them or even convince them to take medications. This really validates the rule that doctors should not manage their closest relatives due to conflict of interest, clouded judgements, emotions and possible over treating.
AF: What’s a lesson your father taught you that you now find yourself (unintentionally or not) passing on to your children?
DA: You are royalty, stand tall always (this is pregnant with a lot of meaning).
AF: What’s one of the wildest or most unexpected parenting moments you’ve experienced that still makes you laugh (or cringe) today?
DA: My babies, growing their first set of teeth trying to bite their way out of everything.
AF: Finally, finish this sentence: If fatherhood had a soundtrack, my personal anthem would be?
DA: Dance with my father…
