Let’s be honest, Nigerians love public holidays. And who can blame us? Between the heat, the hustle, and the traffic, we deserve every single one of them. But 15 public holidays a year? According to my very reliable Personal Bureau of Statistics™, that number is painfully low.
We’re a country of over 200 million people, surely we deserve more days to sit at home in our wrappers and boxers, eating rice and doing nothing?
If I were President, here are the additional holidays I would declare. Because Nigerians work too hard and suffer too much. Let’s rest, abeg.
- World Jollof Day (August 22)
Jollof rice is not just food, it is culture and tradition, a source of national pride and constant international beef. Ghana can keep arguing; we’ll keep cooking. This day should be for eating, rating auntie’s rice over mummy’s, and reviving the eternal “who cooked it best” debate. The office can wait.
- Children’s Day – But for Adults
You may be 37, married with three kids, but you’re still somebody’s child. And for that reason alone, you should be allowed to lie in bed all day on May 27th, eating Golden Morn and watching cartoons, no questions asked.
- Nigeria’s Real Birthday
We celebrate October 1 as Independence Day, but let’s not forget that Nigeria was forcibly assembled on January 1, 1914—the day Lord Lugard and his girlfriend, Flora Shaw, thought it was cute to glue a bunch of unrelated people together. We need this day off to reflect, wonder what could have been, or just gist about how we’ve managed to stay (barely) together since then.
- Valentine’s Day (February 14)
Nobody is doing any real work on Valentine’s Day. HR is distracted. People are receiving anonymous packages and stepping out for “long meetings.” Whether you’re being loved up or left out, you deserve the day off to deal with it accordingly. Go on that date. Cry in peace. Plot your comeback. Whatever. Just not at work.
- Your Birthday (Yes, Yours)
Let’s face it, you’re not productive on your birthday. You’re busy replying to messages from family, friends, that one ex who won’t go away, and your mechanic who somehow knows your date of birth. Just take the day off. You’ve earned it. It’s your day, after all.
- The President’s Birthday
Now this one depends. If the President is doing well, let’s have a national parade and public praise singing. If they’re doing terribly, we can throw tomatoes, chant protest songs, or sleep in as a form of resistance. Either way, the day brings us together as a nation.
- National Fuel Scarcity Day
Let’s stop pretending. Once a year (minimum), the country goes into meltdown mode over fuel queues. Fuel scarcity has become a fabric of our society and I dare say that it’s a bonafide citizen that should be celebrated, with us being at home and off the road.
