For me, being a dad to 2 amazing daughters – Nata – 10years and Cheta – 2years – is the best feeling in the world. It does not matter that I am a single dad, and it goes beyond my daughters. Between my 17 Godchildren scattered all over the world and my 12 nieces and 9 nephews, I have my hands full 😊
Fatherhood means more to me than just the ability to have or father children. It is about being present in the lives of children, showing up and taking responsibilities to care, nurture, train and be supportive. These children do not necessarily have to be biologically yours. It is a lot of work but at the same time it is the greatest thing on earth, second only to finding the love of your life, of course.
The Highs and the Lows:
The high point for me was the birth of my daughters, especially when you consider all we went through to have them. Nata came 4 years after our marriage and Cheta, 8 years after Nata. We had to deal with a lot of societal pressure, countless tests and drugs, prayers and fasting, and at the end of it all, they came when God planned them.
I guess we were just fretting for nothing.
The low point for me is being a single dad. I lost my wife 3 weeks after she gave birth to Cheta. It has been tough playing the role of mother and father at the same time, but I am grateful for my dedicated support system – family and friends – that have made it much easier for me.
A big shout out to every single parent out there!
I love being in the lives of my children, guiding and nurturing them in the right ways to live. I have 7 siblings and that may have played a key part, especially since we are still a close-knit family. I wanted to share that joy with everyone, and it showed in my activities in church growing up – organising and leading Block Rosary crusades, Legion of Mary, as well as supporting the Basic Christian Community Centre around my neighbourhood.
On Being Vulnerable:
I want fathers and men in general to know that it is okay to feel vulnerable. It is okay to ask for help. Providing financially is not the hardest part of fatherhood; it is being there for them.
- Be more supportive in the raising of children.
- Support your partners more, not just financially but emotionally.
- Connect with the children
- Show that you care
- Make them lean on you but also teach them to be stronger members of the society, passing on that love which they have received.
Such beautiful piece!
Awesome…you hv been doing well Obi.
Thank you for sharing your story, Obinna. God will continue to give you the strength you need to play this role!