I was what people liked to call a tomboy in the 90s. While I can’t give you a definition of what a tomboy is, because now that I know better, I find the meaning purely subjective. I can, however, say, people thought of me this way because I did things differently.
But I was lucky. I had a mother who didn’t try to change my love for wearing trousers, sewing kaftans, doing all the sports I could manage, even when I insisted my birthday gift should be a haircut. I was the only child that inherited her amazing hair – length and texture, still, she didn’t flinch, and I still don’t know why. In fact, I should ask her.
I was also the little sister my elder sisters came to whenever boys tried to bully them, and trust me, I often addressed the situation. A few times my mom had come to my primary school to answer for my retaliation. She would say whatever the headmistress needed to hear but never scolded me about physically defending my sister. You see, I was a tiny thing, so even the authorities were amused when these reports would come in. I vaguely remember these years but I’m grateful for them.
Thinking back now, I wanted to cut my hair because weaves sent me to feats of crying. I liked to wear trousers because skirts and gowns made me feel exposed and unsafe, especially those famous mummy-give-me-cake-dresses. Eww! As a grown woman, I am grateful to now have the language to navigate our social perceptions of what is normal and acceptable. For instance, what do people mean when they say that drums are for boys and dolls are for girls? As a child, such categorizations only made me want to rebel. I am grateful to live in a world where women have a range of options on what they can do or not, the younger generation definitely have it better.
I also acknowledge that I was only able to find myself because of the kind of mother I have. She really empowered me with options as a child, in fact, the only sport I was scared away from was Taekwondo, my mother scared me into thinking I wouldn’t grow breasts- I think she believed it. I remained captain of the team, the scare didn’t last a night. High jump, long jump, football, track & field… Primary School? I loved those years.
As the world celebrates another International Women’s Day, my desire is for many more little girls to have the freedom to dream and experiment and become what they want.
