For many, the lifting of the lockdown ban and the mask mandate was a relief, but I could not relate. The weeks – then months – of the covid-19 lockdown had been a strain. I missed the structure of my life before the lockdown, but I also enjoyed the peace and calm of staying home all day until I did not.
The lockdown kept on extending till I started experiencing symptoms of both minor depression and anxiety. The long online classes, sad news on social media (End Sars etc.) and fear of not using a mask started taking a toll on my mental health.
Fast forward to when the ban was gradually getting lifted, billions of people were relieved but all I felt was ‘fear’. Fear of having to leave the comfort of my home to go out. Fear of interacting with other people asides from my friends and family. Fear of having to sustain my social battery when I am with friends and fear of being seen without my nose mask.
With time I started interacting with people better, I was feeling happier, and I guess you could say my social battery was way fuller than before. However, I could not leave my room without my face mask and no matter how long I was in another space other than my house, I never took it off.
Everyone laughed it off and some even commended me for being extra cautious because I was an undergraduate Public Health student at that time, but deep down I knew it was the fear of being seen without it. I realized I had become somewhat dependent on my mask because it had become a way of masking my insecurities, particularly my skin condition. Without my mask, I felt exposed and vulnerable to the world. I began to forget how beautiful I look and this went on for a while until my sister noticed something was off about me. She reached out to a therapist and I participated in a few sessions which opened my eyes to my problems and essentially how to fix them. Per her advice, I started to incorporate a lot of self-care routines into my lifestyle (amongst other things) in a bid to start experiencing self-love again and it worked.
A major aspect of self-care that drastically reduced my anxiety was ‘skincare’. After I started my first intentional routine, it felt way more than applying products to my skin for me. It was a soul-cleansing routine; it created a sense of me loving and caring for myself. It made me super confident about wanting to be seen and as simple as it sounds, skincare literally cured my No-Mask Anxiety without me realising it. Skincare is self-care.
