The season of love is fast approaching. In a few weeks, all you will hear on Obasanjo’s internet will be ‘awww’ and ‘God when’. It’s also proposal season, with ladies sprinting faster than Usain Bolt at the sight of the ring and then sprinting right back, and men crying as they ask their LOMLs to marry them. Don’t you just love how it’s now cool for men to cry? But I digress.
Particularly, it’s that time of the year when everyone wants to portray ‘couple goals’ even the most dysfunctional relationships want you to want what they have. Don’t get sucked in. I know the internet led you to believe that healthy relationships are boring and unspontaneous but there’s absolutely nothing desirable about toxic relationships. So, if you are in one or you see one approaching you, here are three tips to help you avoid it:
Unlearn: It can be difficult to tell if you are in a toxic relationship, especially if that’s all you know. We learn by observing our parents or other people in relationships, and unfortunately, toxic relationships are celebrated in some parts of the world, including ours. Because no one teaches you how to cultivate a loving and healthy relationship, you grow with the impression that you do not deserve more than what is being offered. It is fine if you are in this category because you can start informing yourself about what a healthy versus toxic relationship looks like in reality from now.
Be clear about the qualities you desire from a partner: Nobody wants to be in an unhealthy relationship. However, desperation can sometimes lead us to enter and stay in one for far longer than we should. To avoid this, it is critical to know and express clearly what qualities you seek in a partner. Not only physical characteristics, but also emotional, spiritual, financial, and social characteristics. Once you have them defined, look for those qualities and only those qualities in relationship prospects. Don’t settle.
Relearn: Of all the qualities you desire from a partner, you have to point out how many of them describe you. Most times we want so much from others in relationships & yet give so little or end up being the toxic ones. It’s time to start becoming the partner you want and desire.
