I still sometimes think about when my wife gave birth to my daughter and the first time, I met her.
How would I describe it? Hmmm…I think it’s like getting a special gift from God and knowing you have to take care of that gift; knowing that regardless, that life depends on you for everything. It was such a beautiful feeling. I can proudly say it changed my life.
The Best thing to happen to me
The birth of my child remains the best thing that has happened to me, but will it surprise you if I say before childbirth, I was already a father?
I realized I was a father figure when I started taking care of my nieces and nephews with regards to supporting them financially and advising them at any given opportunity but not limited to these. I guess you could call me that ‘cool uncle’ or ‘hip dad’. My siblings would send their children to talk to me. We talk and they open up to me. I value and do not take this responsibility for granted.
Fatherhood gives the feeling of responsibility. In everything I do, I am constantly thinking of how it affects my wife and daughter.
On this journey, I am always surprising myself; doing things I never imagined myself doing. I do a lot now! I change diapers but honestly, it does not stop there. I’m happy doing it. I wake up when she’s crying with joy even if it’s uncomfortable. I’m thinking; ‘Ha this girl!’ but I do it with joy.
It’s a great feeling in all.
My highest point so far as a father was meeting this God-sent-gift directly delivered to my wife and me.
The most challenging and flat-out scariest point was just after she was born. She fell ill and we had to take her back to the hospital for a week. Imagine going home after childbirth just to be returning in a day. The frustrations of things not being under your control. We thank God she got better and she’s good. Call me bias but I haven’t seen a more agile and charismatic 19-month-old.
Celebrating Fathers More Often
Contrary to popular opinion, I believe fathers would like to be celebrated more. Society has stereotyped fathers to be strong, not cry and withstand everything. Sometimes we want to express our fears and let people understand that we can be tired too. In my opinion, fathers need a bit more support and encouragement.
Emphasis on Father’s Day!
People barely remember Father’s Day. Fathers should be appreciated. They are humans too.
I think fathers could assist more at home and try to be more involved in the life of their children especially when they are still young.
I’ve observed that the typical Nigerian father does not help out as much in the house asides financial provision and some culturally defined male roles. A little nudge to fathers and father figures, don’t forget to build relationships safe enough to share personal things as you’re working hard trying to provide.
