(Ser-vahyv)
Meaning: To endure or live through (an affliction, adversity, misery, etc.)
Once upon a time, there was a bad case of a certain disease predicted to wipe out Africa. It was so feared that one early morning, people unusually jumped off their beds as early as 5 a.m. to have a shower with salt water that would purge this disease from their land.
We called it the period of affliction, but we survived it.
Then came the stories of some armed degenerates, who declared that Nigeria would become theirs no matter what it took, and that they would need to ‘cleanse’ the land with arms and weapons.
We called this the period of adversity. But we survived that too.
A few weeks ago, something new came up. First, it was announced that the price of fuel, which used to be N85, had gone up by 71% bringing the new price to an eye-popping N145 per litre. What that meant was that if you used to fill a tank with N3,500 before, now with that same amount, your fuel would only take you to 3rd Mainland Bridge before you would have to get off your lofty car seat and push your car the rest of the way home on an empty tank.
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Still smarting at the rude shock to our wallets, our beloved tomato, the life blood of all Nigerian foods, decided it was time Nigerians recognised its potential to become diamond. Tomato not only doubled tripled in cost it also ‘disappeared’ from market. They said it was a worm, a plague on us, to attack all tomatoes where the plump red vegetables were grown.
They called it the period of misery. For the smart ones, we call it Operation Survival 2.0.
And if you are one of us smart ones, here are 5 ways you can survive the economy despite the obvious-ahem-political crinkum-crankum.
- Seek alternatives – Wood.
So obvious. Not to get too ‘science-ey’, the combustion of wood can produce energy for the basic necessities of a working man/woman, which are of course:
- Cooking noodles – build a fire at the back yard?
- Ironing wrinkled shirts – Charcoal iron.
Pros: Your wallet will smile to the bank.
Cons: Your landlord will most likely throw you out, plus you’ll end up with charred holes the size of golf balls on your favourite shirts.
Challenges: When was the last time you saw a tree in Lagos?
- Plant-A-Tomato.
Sounds like a great hashtag. So the other day I was thinking: if every one of us should get a flower pot and grow our own tomatoes and peppers in our backyards, what are the odds that the worms will be able to devour all that in a year?
Let’s do the math:
180,000,000 people x 1 tomato plant = 180,000,000 tomato plants
If 1 tomato plant = 10 tomatoes a month, how many tomato seeds will we have in one month?
Answer = 1,800,000,000 tomatoes.
Let’s put the Spanish tomato festival to shame.
Pros: Great hashtag. Social good. Pretty intimidating to the worms who have planned to destroy our lives.
Cons: No time to plant. We’ll lose our jobs tending to tomato plants, and the leave days are not enough for weeding.
Challenges: Calculation is based on probability. We may not be up to 180million people after all.
- Get an Electric/Solar powered car
I won’t waste time on this one.
Pros: Great idea!
Cons: You’ll still end up on 3rd Mainland bridge with a dead car, dead phone and nationwide power blackout.
Challenges: Power challenges.
- Insure Everything
This is one of my personal favourites. People think insurance is for the rainy days, but I see insurance as an everyday smart move to get yourself insured against all principalities and powers problems that may arise due to the shaky economy, such as:
- Saving oneself additional stress haggling with someone who gives your car a fancy dent.
- Secure your children’s (and children’s children’s) future with a tiny fraction called a premium.
Pros: Good for the health in these trying times.
Cons: Insurance is too cheap. How will everyone know you have arrived when you are busy spending money on something this cheap?
Challenges: How to get the best insurance plan?
- Transform Africa
Where there is a challenge, the solution is not far behind. Your idea can transform Africa!
Despite the economic challenges, this is the time to get the people around you thinking of ways to solve our obvious problems.
Pros: You become a part of something bigger than yourself, plus you discover your inner Chairman-ism.
Cons: When you share and your friends hit it big, they may forget to thank you for the advice to submit an idea for TEEP.
Challenge: TEEP 3 is too far away. Can they bring it closer?
Let’s survive together! Share this link with your colleagues?
