When you hear SLoW Lagos, you imagine a place where time pauses, your senses awaken, and everything unfolds with a certain deliberate elegance. What I didn\u2019t expect was noise levels that rivaled a secondary school night prep class after exams. Seriously, the chatter wasn\u2019t the soft, delightful ASMR-type that whispers, \u201cWelcome to fine dining.\u201d No. This was the cacophony of 30 classmates playing Jackpot and trying to settle their debts before heading home for the term.<\/p>\n
Then there were the yelling tables. Two of them. Competing. One table went, \u201cOya loud am!\u201d and the other said, \u201cChallenge accepted!\u201d I honestly thought a referee would blow a whistle at some point. What baffled me more was the staff\u2019s nonchalance\u2014like this was a live entertainment feature we were all meant to enjoy. It made me wonder if this was the norm or if I had just come on “Shouting Saturdays.” If I wanted vibes and noise, I would go to Shrine.<\/p>\n
Now, onto the food. The slow wood oven-roasted chicken, fries, and beef lasagne? Not bad\u2014commendable, even. But the Peruvian rice? Listen, if that\u2019s what\u2019s in store for me in Peru, I\u2019m fasting. It tasted like asaro (yam porridge) met lime at a poorly attended food fair. The mashed potatoes? I can\u2019t judge; I\u2019ve always had a personal beef with potatoes. Let\u2019s just say my dislike remains intact.<\/p>\n
And about affordability\u2014well, there\u2019s a Yoruba adage that translates \u201cif you can attach a price tag to something, it\u2019s affordable to somebody.\u201d But I think SLoW\u2019s menu is more expensive than most restaurants in its class. Yes, the ambience was amazing and the parking was a dream for Lagos standards, but my experience wasn\u2019t fine dining; it was just meh dining.
\nIf you\u2019re planning a visit, lower your expectations. Way down. If this is the top of the fine dining ladder, I might just cling to Chicken Republic\u2014at least they deliver what they promise without a side of chaos. 2.5 out of 5 stars, and most of those stars are for the parking and the decor. The noise moved it from demure to de-mu-reh.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
When you hear SLoW Lagos, you imagine a place where time pauses, your senses awaken, and everything unfolds with a certain deliberate elegance. What I didn\u2019t expect was noise levels that rivaled a secondary school night prep class after exams. Seriously, the chatter wasn\u2019t the soft, delightful ASMR-type that whispers, \u201cWelcome to fine dining.\u201d No. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":13,"featured_media":9346,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[33,77],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9345","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-features","category-food"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9345","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/13"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9345"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9345\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9348,"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9345\/revisions\/9348"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/9346"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9345"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9345"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9345"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}