I\u2019m laughing because I hear this a lot and while I can \u2018get it\u2019, I also refuse to acknowledge it as anything other than a comedic opinion.<\/p>\n
Why? For starters, I\u2019m writing this after a lit weekend where I got to attend a thoroughly enjoyable wedding that my colleague invited me to.<\/p>\n
Was he the one getting married? No. But he thought, \u201cThis wedding will be fun o. Won\u2019t it be nice to not get my guys in on it? Oya Deoye, show.\u201d<\/p>\n
Boya if I was doing, \u201cColleagues are not my friends.\u201d I would have missed all the small chops and after-party. What a sad loss that would have been, especially the small chops part.
\nThat said, I am fully aware that the goal for most individuals at work is to advance in their careers (promotions, pay rises, awards, etc.). And in this career rat race, people have been burned by colleagues who have thrown them under the bus in pursuit of their goals. However, aren\u2019t people we call friends outside work also capable of doing the same thing?<\/p>\n
The truth is, people, will be people anywhere; whether it is at home, church or the office, we will meet both the best and worst of us. Shege isn\u2019t bound by location so why focus on the negatives and miss out on enjoyable workplace relationships that may evolve into rewarding lifelong friendships?<\/p>\n
In the end, I realised that one of the key reasons some people may be wary of friendships at work is because they can be difficult to navigate. Some people can also struggle with setting or respecting boundaries which apply to both work and off-work friendships. Here are five tips that can help.<\/p>\n
1. Don\u2019t Be Cliquey<\/strong> So, occasionally, break the routine of only hanging out with your faves and get to know the rest of your team.<\/p>\n 2. Don\u2019t abuse familiarity.<\/strong> 3. Consideration is key.<\/strong> Acknowledge the fact that while everyone may want to hang out, they\u2019re all coming from different places, with different priorities and different backgrounds. So rather than writing people off because they don\u2019t want to do exactly what you want to do, be flexible.<\/p>\n Also, some people may be like me. The chances of attending may be close to zero but send an invite anyway.<\/p>\n 4. Always be yourself.<\/strong> Yes, you may not click with everyone you work with but that\u2019s okay. You can click with others and still have cordial work relations with those you aren\u2019t chummy with.<\/p>\n 5. Don\u2019t rush.<\/strong> If you don\u2019t have close workplace connections yet or struggle with them, take your time. Also, ask yourself: Are you attending optional social events? Have you asked anyone for drinks? Are you sitting at your desk all day with your headphones on? Could it be that you\u2019re unintentionally sending the message that you\u2019re not at work to make friends?<\/p>\n Maybe that works for you and that\u2019s fine. What I do know is that forming meaningful connections with your colleagues can make difficult days at work bearable, while also making your life outside work better.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I\u2019m laughing because I hear this a lot and while I can \u2018get it\u2019, I also refuse to acknowledge it as anything other than a comedic opinion. Why? For starters, I\u2019m writing this after a lit weekend where I got to attend a thoroughly enjoyable wedding that my colleague invited me to. Was he the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":13,"featured_media":7830,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[33],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7788","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-features"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7788","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/13"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7788"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7788\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7790,"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7788\/revisions\/7790"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7830"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7788"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7788"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7788"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nHaving a group of friends in the workplace is great but what you don\u2019t want to do is start a secondary clique in a grown-up office. When you only hang out with a few people and don\u2019t try to get to know others, you may alienate your other colleagues. This may end up making your job harder. Idowu is far less likely to do that favour for you if he discovers that you invited everyone but him to the beach.<\/p>\n
\nSome workplaces or teams don\u2019t have a wide age or experience gap so be careful not to blur the lines. No matter how much fun you and your manager have together, he or she is still your boss.
\nThis doesn\u2019t mean you can\u2019t talk about non-work stuff or spend time together outside of the office\u2014it just means you must be a bit more cognizant of what you choose to discuss. The same goes for being friendly with your direct reports.<\/p>\n
\nFriendship doesn\u2019t discriminate, but how you choose to hang out can. If, for example, your co-worker can\u2019t do 17:59 because they have kids to care for, be open to planning some hangouts that happen out of the office.<\/p>\n
\nReal, honest connections are likelier to form and thrive when you\u2019re yourself, not pretending to be someone else.
\nSometimes we over-romanticize mystery and want people to say, \u201cI didn\u2019t know so and so is this fun o.\u201d However, I think putting up a face is just plain exhausting.<\/p>\n
\nNot everything has to be an instant hit. Some good friendships take time. For instance, you may be only a few months into your new role and wondering why you don\u2019t have an office husband yet.<\/p>\n