It\u2019s a Friday night. You pick up your phone and open the Facebook app. You scroll through the posts. Two different people have just gotten married. You go back to the first post to comment \u2018congratulations\u2019 but you are too lazy to comment same on the second one so \u2018HML\u2019 should be enough.<\/p>\n
You keep scrolling.<\/p>\n
Tobi is sharing her\u00a0\u2018I said yes\u2019<\/em>\u00a0memory from last year with a\u00a0\u20181 year down and many to go…’ as well as a toddler\u2019s birthday.<\/em>\u00a0Huh? When was the wedding? There was also childbirth too?? Okayyyyy. \u2018Things are happening\u2019 you think to yourself.<\/p>\n You keep scrolling.<\/p>\n You see that Chinedu bought a car and Frances posted up 15 images of herself doing the same pose. 15! Oh well, that\u2019s enough Facebook for one day. You close the app. You don\u2019t bother with Twitter.\u00a0\u2018Too vile\u2019<\/em>\u00a0you say while closing your eyes and shaking your head like you are trying to shake off a bad memory.<\/p>\n You open LinkedIn\u2026\u2019I am pleased to announce that I have just<\/em>\u2019\u2026you close the app.\u00a0\u2018Not today\u2019<\/em>\u00a0you mutter under your breath. Instagram is next. You scroll up. You scroll down. \u2018What a boring timeline\u2019<\/em>\u00a0you think to yourself. You check the explore section. A few taps here and there. You close the app. Phew. That\u2019s enough social media for today.<\/p>\n You walk to your work desk and pick up the book you\u2019ve been trying to finish reading since the start of this year. You then pour yourself a glass of juice and mix it with some water.\u00a0\u2018I\u2019m watching my sugar intake\u2019<\/em>\u00a0You say out loud so that the imaginary audience does not judge you.<\/p>\n You walk to the couch and settle into it. You are comfortable so you begin to flip the pages to where you stopped to pick up reading. Your phone beeps. You get a text.<\/p>\n \u2018Hi Thandi, how have you been. I know it has been a while. You recently crossed my mind and I thought to check on you.\u00a0<\/em> You tap your phone to open the messaging app. You are staring at the message intently, unable to believe what you have just read. You see earlier conversations with Micheal. It has been 2 years since you last texted each other. You scroll through your last conversation. Memories start rushing in. You are reminded again why you two drifted. You squeeze your forehead and your chest tightens. You feel it again, the heart-piercing feeling you felt when you came to the realisation that your friendship was falling apart.<\/p>\n Your phone beeps again. It\u2019s another text. To respond or to ignore?\u00a0<\/em>A part of you is eager to reconnect and the other part isn\u2019t certain this is a good idea.<\/p>\n Pause.<\/p>\n Oftentimes, in the middle of our ever-busy lives, an olive branch is extended to us to rekindle something lost. Truth be told, we all struggle with figuring out if we should accept it or ignore it.<\/p>\n If the lockdown didn\u2019t teach us anything, it at least taught us the importance of human connection beyond technology. I\u2019d like to think amongst other things the pandemic presented us with an opportunity to rethink the way we lived.<\/p>\n I believe loss isn\u2019t exclusive to death although I think death is the highest and final form of loss. When we stop talking to a friend or a family member and disconnections happen, that for me is loss.<\/p>\n When we lose the ones we love, we do not think it will go on for long. I mean we get upset over stuff and then resolve to keep our distance. Next thing you know, three days becomes 3 weeks and before you know it three years go by and you are still keeping a distance.<\/p>\n We then become busy. We make new friends, we evolve into new people and life goes on. Still, there\u2019s a lost connection that you wish to reconnect with.<\/p>\n It happens to all of us. You are not alone.<\/p>\n Oftentimes, when the feeling of rebuilding lost connections comes to us, we feel embarrassed or ashamed or agitated because we remember that we let someone go or someone let us go. For many of us, certain people are a strong source of emotional support, especially when tragedies happen and so when we lose them, we feel like a part of us has gone missing.<\/p>\n Recently, I have come to accept that life is as difficult as we make it to be. Many people are eager to reconnect with friends and will do anything to have them back in their lives. The ball is usually in our court. This month presents a new opportunity to rethink if you want to extend the olive branch or accept that olive branch that is stretched towards you. Whichever category you belong to, if you are looking to rekindle your disconnections, these small steps can help.<\/p>\n Think before you reach out.<\/strong> So before you try to reach out, it might be wise to take some time to think it through. Ask yourself what happened and what has changed. Are you a completely different person now? Was there something you couldn\u2019t handle back then? Is it something you can deal with now? Manage your expectations<\/strong> Adjusting expectations is one way to handle these tough emotions.<\/p>\n Act like it\u2019s your first time. Be Patient.<\/strong> Don’t Be Afraid to Be Vulnerable<\/strong> In my personal opinion, life isn\u2019t short. We are the ones here living on something borrowed. Every day presents itself as an opportunity to step out of our comfort zone and do things differently. As we grow older, we will need the ones who love us the most and the ones we love the most to navigate this life with us.<\/strong> It\u2019s a Friday night. You pick up your phone and open the Facebook app. You scroll through the posts. Two different people have just gotten married. You go back to the first post to comment \u2018congratulations\u2019 but you are too lazy to comment same on the second one so \u2018HML\u2019 should be enough. You keep […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":6604,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6598","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-cover"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6598","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/8"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6598"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6598\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6614,"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6598\/revisions\/6614"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6604"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6598"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6598"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6598"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nBuzz me if and when you can.\u2019<\/em>
\n-Michael.<\/em><\/p>\n
\n\u2018Thandi, It\u2019s been too long. Say something at least or call me.<\/em>
\n\u00a0I\u2019d like to meet up and talk.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n
\nRegardless of how things ended, there was a reason why it did and though years have passed, the reason why you disconnected might still be lingering and as such, a reconnection might have you walking back into what you left behind.<\/p>\n
\nThe point is this, you want to make sure that you are mentally and emotionally prepared for what can ensue.<\/p>\n
\nWhen reconnecting, it\u2019s common to want to make up for the lost time, remember that the other too person has changed and this change can stir up feelings of disappointment and frustration.<\/p>\n
\nNow that your olive branch has been accepted or you have opened up the possibilities of a reconnection, you should not immediately assume the same level of intimacy you once had. Try to become acquaintances first, let things unfold. Pace yourself as you would after meeting someone new. You will need time to build trust with them again.<\/p>\n
\nDo not expect things to hit off right away and do not pressure them into starting things immediately. Just because you\u2019re ready to rekindle this connection doesn\u2019t mean the other person is ready. If they are hesitant, try to keep in mind that it\u2019s probably more about them than about you.<\/p>\n
\nInstead of focusing on the past and on \u201cwhat if\u201d and \u201cwhy,\u201d work on identifying ways to figure out what makes you similar and build up from there. Remember that just like you, they want to avoid emotional and mental pain. You can therefore use vulnerability as the doorway to reconnection.<\/p>\n
\n\u00a0<\/strong>
\nToday, let us begin the start of something new. Reconnect.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"