From the title, you probably assume that I\u2019m about to go into an intense metaphorical monologue about life, and its one-too-many lessons. If this is your thought, I\u2019m sorry to burst your bubble but I mean this in the most literal sense.<\/p>\n
At the start of the year, I, like most people in the global population, anticipated a mild case of germaphobia. A phobia that could potentially protect me from contracting the coronavirus. Yes, please! But sadly, life had other plans. I, instead, developed a chronic case of Basophobia (fear of falling down), and ironically that\u2019s all I seem to do these days, fall down.<\/p>\n
You see, it started one fateful night during the lockdown. I had gone running in an attempt to escape my sedentary lifestyle. Heart racing, dripping in sweat, and panting heavily like a wild dog, I was finally on my last lap when I heard a loud bark. I ignored it at first as It is a rather common occurrence in my estate, so I continued dragging my tired self towards my street. Then it became louder and seemed a lot closer, that\u2019s when I turned around and saw a dog charging at me. Terrified, I used the last molecule of energy left in me to run for my dear life as it began to chase me. As I approached my house, I couldn\u2019t manage to get the gate open, so I tried jumping over it but instead threw all 77kg of me over the gate and landed flat on the ground. The dog retreated but I remained on the floor for what felt like hours as I was now in intense pain; my legs were bruised, and my arm strained.<\/p>\n
This event marked the beginning of my insistent and spontaneous interactions with the ground. Since that day, I have fallen down in the bathroom, at the car park of a salon, at the entrance of my office, my home staircase, alighting my car, just to name a few.<\/p>\n
What I really want to know is who I offended; what is it about 2020 that makes me trip or fall down unprovoked? Is this a mere case of clumsiness or is there a ghost \u2018setting leg\u2019 for me? At this point, I\u2019m leaning towards the latter. With the way my mother constantly yells \u2018awon\u00a0ebi baba e\u2019 (my father\u2019s relatives) at the slightest provocation, I won\u2019t be surprised if this is part of their revenge plot, sins of the mother perhaps.<\/p>\n
I decided to research my existing condition and here are a few of my findings: According to Google, I may be suffering from a condition known as Pes planus, scary right? Not so much. It\u2019s a simple case of flat feet. Apparently, people with flat feet tend to have issues with stability.<\/p>\n
Another possible cause is a change in hormone levels during menstruation which makes women extra-clumsy. Lowered levels of progesterone have adverse effects on our vision, hand steadiness, and coordination of movements. One more issue to blame our ancestor, Eve, for.<\/p>\n
WebMD, on the other hand, is convinced that this is a neurological issue and has diagnosed \u2018my enemy\u2019 with a possible case of Parkinson\u2019s or Cerebral Palsy which begs the question – are these medical websites created to prevent death or accelerate it?<\/p>\n
All in all, I am thankful for the year 2020. It has taught me that I may fall down but I will rise again. I\u2019ll probably fall down again but rise I must.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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