Everyone has something they don\u2019t like and it could be as serious as lying to something as trivial as chewing loudly. I\u2019ve got a few as well, even though I\u2019m too lazy to be emotionally invested in generating the commensurate degree of annoyance to address most.<\/p>\n
Here goes\u2026<\/p>\n
Always seeking activity<\/strong><\/p>\n No, Patricia, we don\u2019t have to do anything! It might seem crazy but I can actually plan to do absolutely nothing. You need to see me grinning with glee on the verge of a weekend where I\u2019ve sabotaged every plan to go anywhere. I just want to stay home, play Call of Duty, drink in between and sleep! This is when somebody will now buzz you and say, \u201cHafa nau, nothing is happening at your end? Let\u2019s go out and chill nau\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n No, Patricia, If I was any more chill, global warming wouldn\u2019t be an issue. I\u2019m not just lying here, saying, \u201cOh look, see how wide open my weekend is! Now let me fill it up with activities I\u2019m going to regret engaging in, come Monday.\u201d I dey my house and I\u2019m not complaining about a lack of activity so leave me be.<\/p>\n And this brings me to my next peeve\u2026<\/p>\n Interrupting my sleep<\/strong><\/p>\n People who do this have a death wish and it bothers me because I\u2019m supposed to be the crazy one. I once said somewhere that inviting people over without knowing if they\u2019ll be fine by themselves while you take a brief nap is a serious concern. I don\u2019t know how else to say it: I love my sleep! I don\u2019t get enough so it\u2019s precious to me. Somebody will now interrupt it for one silly reason?<\/p>\n See ehn, just die or I\u2019ll do it myself.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Guilt-trips<\/strong><\/p>\n No, don\u2019t appeal to my better side. Don\u2019t use wonky logic to try and get me to do something \u2014 good or bad, it doesn\u2019t matter. Don\u2019t apply false equivalences to evoke a reaction of any sort from me. Just. Don\u2019t.<\/p>\n We see it everywhere. You\u2019re in church and after two offerings and four special collections, someone mounts the pulpit for another round of fundraising and says, \u201cThat N1,000 you use in buying data will be better spent on contributing to our project. You see, brothers and sisters, it\u2019s for everyone\u2019s benefit.\u201d<\/p>\n Yes, my brother, I agree with you. But you see this N1,000 in my wallet? Nothing you say will stop me from buying that data so I can burn it watching twerking videos on Instagram.<\/p>\n It could also be when someone you haven\u2019t spoken to in a long time reaches out to you first and then goes, \u201cNa wa o, you just forgot me\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n Nah fam, you forgot your damn self. Just greet me and go live your life abi what kind of gbegiri on top of rice reasoning is that?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Beating around the bush<\/strong><\/p>\n Except you\u2019re trying to flush out a pet rodent, don\u2019t do this for both our sakes. I\u2019m very patient but I won\u2019t just chill while you lead me through a maze before telling me what exactly you want or why you need my attention.<\/p>\n Funny enough, this happens on social media a lot. Someone says \u201cHi\u201d, you say \u201cHi\u201d, then they say \u201cHello\u201d and you respond, then they say, \u201cGood morning\u2026\u201d Please dear, will you greet me to death? WTF do you want?!<\/p>\n So, don\u2019t be unfortunate; just say it! It\u2019s not like I\u2019ll bite or anything.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Telling me to \u2018calm down\u2019<\/strong><\/p>\n Dear Patricia, what you\u2019ve just done is empty a bucket of gasoline over smouldering coal and I hope to god that the fury you\u2019ve unleashed barbeques your dumb ass.<\/p>\n Nowhere in the history of calming down has telling people to \u2018calm down\u2019 actually gotten them to calm down. Never forget that.<\/p>\n I could go on but I\u2019ll probably end up saying that how someone breathes is annoying so what\u2019s yours? I\u2019d like to know.<\/p>\n Bye!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Everyone has something they don\u2019t like and it could be as serious as lying to something as trivial as chewing loudly. I\u2019ve got a few as well, even though I\u2019m too lazy to be emotionally invested in generating the commensurate degree of annoyance to address most. Here goes\u2026 Always seeking activity No, Patricia, we don\u2019t […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5008,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[33],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5000","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-features"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5000","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5000"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5000\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5001,"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5000\/revisions\/5001"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5008"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5000"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5000"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5000"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}