{"id":2830,"date":"2017-09-05T16:25:26","date_gmt":"2017-09-05T16:25:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/?p=2830"},"modified":"2017-10-03T11:15:29","modified_gmt":"2017-10-03T11:15:29","slug":"i-need-a-friend","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/2017\/09\/i-need-a-friend","title":{"rendered":"I Need a Friend"},"content":{"rendered":"

By Moyo Awotile<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I was always a happy kid, the class clown, the joker.<\/p>\n

There was forever a funny anecdote for every situation and so no one took me seriously.<\/p>\n

Twice a year, on my birthday and on Christmas day, I threw a party at my house.<\/p>\n

My parties were the stuff Legends are made of; too many people, too many drinks, music too loud.<\/p>\n

This year, I was going to throw the best party, I was going to make everyone happy.<\/p>\n

Because I was sad.<\/p>\n

I had never been a happy kid, the class clown, the joker.<\/p>\n

It was a farce.<\/p>\n

I laughed to cover the pain of my parents leaving me.<\/p>\n

I smiled because it masked the hurt from losing my sister.<\/p>\n

I cracked those jokes because the laughing faces of my friends helped me forget the sneering faces of those men who broke me that night.<\/p>\n

I had to make my friends believe everything was fine because \u2018you have to fake it till you make it\u2019.<\/p>\n

But were they really my friends?<\/p>\n

I was that friend who always counted on to follow you to that doctor\u2019s visit, to attend your aunt\u2019s wedding 2 cities away, to be there for you when your brother was dying of cancer and it was a perfect arrangement because I never asked for anything in return.<\/p>\n

I went days without eating, I forgot to attend my classes and my grades were suffering for it, I had been looking more and more dejected everyday, but as long as I was the clown, the joker, it was easier for \u2018my friends\u2019 to pretend I was okay.<\/p>\n

The day finally came, it was my birthday.<\/p>\n

I was so excited. I had been planning for so long!<\/p>\n

Hair, nails, outfit, all check!<\/p>\n

Food, drinks, music, games, Check!<\/p>\n

The invitations had gone out a month ago, the set time was 7:00pm.<\/p>\n

It was 6:28pm.<\/p>\n

I checked my phone, no missed calls, no messages.<\/p>\n

Still early, but they will be here soon.<\/p>\n

7:16pm.<\/p>\n

I checked my phone, no missed calls, no messages.<\/p>\n

Hmmm\u2026 Something must be happening. I turned on the TV and checked all the news channels, was there a disaster?<\/p>\n

8:33pm.<\/p>\n

I checked my phone, no missed calls, no messages.<\/p>\n

The candles on my cake had burnt out and a lock of my hair had lost its curl.<\/p>\n

It was time to take a bath.<\/p>\n

I went upstairs to my room, on the drawer was a little black disc, I picked it up.<\/p>\n

I walked to the bathroom, my mind was racing as I filled the tub with very warm water, which I had read somewhere that it helped you feel nothing.<\/p>\n

Was I now a burden? If I lost these friends, what exactly was I living for? I wasn\u2019t even doing well at school, so it wasn\u2019t like I even had a bright future. What was the point of it all.<\/p>\n

I got into the tub, I used the cherry & raspberry bath bomb, it was so red and smelled so nice.<\/p>\n

This was the best way.<\/p>\n

I looked at the black disc, the blade, it was a bit rusty but that wouldn\u2019t matter.<\/p>\n

I checked my phone, no missed calls, no messages.<\/p>\n

I switched off my phone. I guess the party was over.<\/p>\n

I never got the message saying \u201csorry I\u2019m late, you have been looking quite sad lately, so I stopped to get that cheese cake you really like\u201d, \u201cI am running a little late, but I\u2019ve been meaning to ask, is everything okay? Lets talk after your party. See you soon!\u201d, \u201cHey, I\u2019ve pressed your doorbell 6 times now, is the party over? Where is everyone?\u201d.<\/p>\n

I did hear the doorbell, I didn\u2019t hear the crash, I didn\u2019t hear the screams of my name, maybe they should have checked up on me sooner, maybe they should have cared sooner, but it didn\u2019t matter anymore.<\/p>\n

I had slit my wrists.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

PS: Take a few minutes each day to call up a friend.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Moyo Awotile   I was always a happy kid, the class clown, the joker. There was forever a funny anecdote for every situation and so no one took me seriously. Twice a year, on my birthday and on Christmas day, I threw a party at my house. My parties were the stuff Legends are […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2832,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[75],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2830","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-moyos-musings"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2830","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2830"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2830\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2834,"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2830\/revisions\/2834"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2832"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2830"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2830"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2830"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}