{"id":1608,"date":"2016-06-01T13:11:07","date_gmt":"2016-06-01T13:11:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/?p=1608"},"modified":"2016-06-01T13:22:27","modified_gmt":"2016-06-01T13:22:27","slug":"fatherhood-era","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/2016\/06\/fatherhood-era","title":{"rendered":"Fatherhood in the Post-Modern Era"},"content":{"rendered":"

Maryamu Aminu<\/span><\/p>\n

This month we celebrate Father\u2019s day.\u00a0 So, it\u2019s worth taking a moment to reflect on what in fact makes a father.\u00a0 For one thing, they are (likely) male and likely to be bigger and physically stronger than your other parent- your mother.\u00a0 They are likely to be the one half of your genetic pool that didn\u2019t actually have to cart you around in their distended belly for 40 weeks, only to have you spit up milk on their clean clothes for the next two years.<\/p>\n

A couple of decades ago, it would have been easier to identify your father (or step-father) based on the roles he played, or functions performed, in the family. And with every decade, we look back, it would get even easier.\u00a0 For instance, it would almost certainly have been your father who paid your school fees.\u00a0 He would have had the car or, in the case of well off families, the bigger of the cars.\u00a0 He would have had the job or the higher paying job outside the home.<\/p>\n

He would be the one who doesn\u2019t cook, mend clothes or braid your hair.\u00a0 He was the parent you were less familiar with, feared more and would be more likely to obey.\u00a0 The sentence, \u201cI\u2019m going to tell you father\u201d would more likely influence your next action than \u201cYour mother is going to hear about this.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 And of course, he got the best piece of chicken or beef in the pot.<\/p>\n

If I\u2019m honest, I do remember my father paying my tuition, being the bread winner etc.\u00a0 But I also remember him cutting my nails, one of my less pleasant childhood memories.\u00a0 I also remember that my high school principal liked to call him, and not my mother, to complain that I hadn\u2019t braided my hair to conform with school rules.\u00a0 And I remember him bursting into the bedroom that I shared with my sister and cousin, at 7:00 a.m. every last Saturday of the month, to declare it was \u201ca pig-sty\u201d and that we all had to observe environmental sanitation indoors, as well as outdoors (Thank you IBB)!<\/p>\n

He also helped me pack my suitcase to return to boarding school each term, and admonished me to \u201cforce the bag, not the zip!\u201d to close it.\u00a0 Essentially, my father was a nagging mother, on top of his government job that really should have kept him too busy to be inspecting my nails while I was sleeping.<\/p>\n

His behavior was clearly not entirely in keeping with the traditional roles I described earlier.\u00a0 However, so much has changed in the world today! No one would find that behavior unusual.\u00a0 Today, a mother may hold the title of doctor, whilst the father holds the title of lawyer, today Daddy might earn big bucks and mommy might earn even bigger bucks.\u00a0 Mom might make great Egusi, but Dad\u2019s Fried Rice could be unbeatable.\u00a0 Dad could change the baby\u2019s diaper while Mom coaches your soccer team.\u00a0 Dad could be COO to Mom\u2019s CEO.\u00a0 So, in the world we find ourselves, what makes a father? Has the de-emphasis on traditional gender roles in the family affected the family?\u00a0 Has it done so adversely?\u00a0 Are children whose Dads made dinner and whose Moms worked late scarred for life?\u00a0 Can you immediately tell the difference in how two young people of the same age grew up? Do we need to modify our expectations and KPIs to accommodate this new societal normal?<\/p>\n

Ultimately, I don\u2019t think so.\u00a0 It\u2019s not who earns what or does what in the family.\u00a0 It\u2019s that things get done and that both parents are seen by the child to be putting in the work to make the family work.\u00a0 And it starts with being present- body mind and spirit.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
So, cheers to the Dads that are present in our lives, who cut nails and tie shoe laces, who pay school fees and Netflix fees – be they here with us or represented by memories of good times and good advice.\u00a0 Happy Father\u2019s Day!<\/div>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Maryamu Aminu This month we celebrate Father\u2019s day.\u00a0 So, it\u2019s worth taking a moment to reflect on what in fact makes a father.\u00a0 For one thing, they are (likely) male and likely to be bigger and physically stronger than your other parent- your mother.\u00a0 They are likely to be the one half of your genetic […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[70],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1608","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-maryamus-corner"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1608","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1608"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1608\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1613,"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1608\/revisions\/1613"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1608"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1608"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.heirsholdings.com\/hhpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1608"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}